11/08/2014

Deaf Mamma at the Gym - Part 1

Theory of relativity and gyming goes hand in hand.

How?

Very simple.

The concept of being fat or unfit or overweight is relative to with whom you are spotted roaming thinking you are a Cinderella of some sort. You idiot. You are the chiggi viggi jelly bean talk of the town with that beer belly and equally bloated nose and in women's case...


Let's just forget BMI for a minute.

If you are  royal Kg 80 and your hubby is his highness at Kg 95, you still make a good pair. Now you get it. From a pack of friends or relatives are you able to pick the ones who make you feel fit? Doesn't matter, if you have failed successively to find friends and then coax them to increase their girth. By god's disgrace, all the people having super high metabolism are in my close circle. So, any day they still look like school girls and yet boast of having mother of two kids.

There, fb status goes - feeling duped or feeling fat or feeling meh ! 
However, Gym is one such beautifully dynamic place in the world where the sum total, the cumulative weight of members fluctuate on the leads of sensex. True.

Like you, the other Southie uncle who is very very fat and another Sindhi aunty who competes uncle in every aspect including facial hair are there in the gym. Sum total is Kg 295. Don't you dare ask me specifics, this is basic maths yaar, who is how much.

We three are happy go lucky gym goers, who manages to eve tease the thread mill, cross trainer, exercise bike. It's for our conscience, that, we all 3 go to the gym, obviously we never spoke to each other, not even a courtesy wali "good morning" and yet take inspiration from each other. Since none has lost any weight ever since we our diameters have matched in proportions of our age and gone public on equipments.

Its only the gym register which tells me if my heavy weight pals have come or not. This is how our life was going and I was getting Kick (bhai hume to bahuteye pasand aayi. Jacqueline bhabhi naachi hain to kya naachi hai, jumme ki raat pe. Nargis could have done better. Aur bhai ki kya kahen, voh to seedha dil main aate hain, samajh main nahi lol :).

I was getting kick because always it was me who actually ran fastest on the mill,  for the longest time 12 mins to be precise and never ever fidgeted with the program/ manual/ fat burning or cardio option. Never ever the machine refused to let me deposit my weight on it. Always been a local troubleshooter.

Deep in my mind, I knew if I run faster or stick to upright exercise bike or recumbent one, I am motivating them to follow my fitness path. And a sweltry cardio followed weight training, side bends, fake push ups because abs never felt any resistance. 

2 comments:

  1. Ultimate hilarious.
    Chandni movie ka ek gaana tha -
    Tu mujhe suna main tujhe sunaun
    Apne badte weight ki kahani
    Isko kam karne ke chakkar main
    Yaad aa jayegi humko naani

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    Replies
    1. Heheheh, i have one more in mind - Lukka chuppi bahut huyi, ab to please challa jaa na...kahan kahan dhoondha tujhe, thak gayi hai ab teri maa :p

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