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Nuclear Family Boon or Doom ?

Do you ever feel that the pressures of "Nuclear Family" releases on a child's upbringing like losing temper, scolding, spanking, cranky all the time, feeling down for leaving job etc ? I am brought up in a joint family and so is my husband. And we often discuss about this? Is anybody on the same boat ? Is the grass really greener on the other side?

27 comments:

  1. Sakthi PriyaJune 14, 2014

    I right now go thru all this :((

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  2. Kavita RaoJune 14, 2014

    I think joint families are not without stress either. Conflicts with in laws, co sister etc may also result in one. losing temper on the child inadvertently. I have been raised in nuclear. family where both. parents worked. I was never spanked or hit as a. child. If in nuclear family it helps if both parents equally contribute towards raising the child. When one parent feels overwhelmed the other chips in.

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  3. Roona ShreeJune 14, 2014

    We were staying as a nuclear family then my brother got married n came back to blr. My sil is frm joint family n we too. Then I conceived with second child n my sil with her first we both were staying separately at that time. We gave s thought n rented a villa me n my brother family stayed together till our little ones turned two n then seaprated again. We enjoyed thoroughly n I hve some best memories of life. Our kids share a great bond n we now when we r seaprated we keep visiting on weekends.

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  4. Veronica AggarwalJune 14, 2014

    Be confident, that's the key You can do it!
    Grass will be greener this side when u go other side.

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  5. Chaitra VinayJune 14, 2014

    Going through the same phase nw..

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  6. Srividhya LakshminarasimanJune 14, 2014

    No oooooooo. ...A v big nooooo to joint family...

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  7. Olivia KleinJune 14, 2014

    Nuclear is the best.

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  8. Jennifer BoehmeJune 14, 2014

    Either can be a blessing or a curse, depends on all involved.

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  9. Roopa BalchandarJune 14, 2014

    Bottom line is people have less tolerance nothing to,do with joint or nuclear living.

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  10. Ezhil KumariJune 14, 2014

    U need to balance out... If both the husband and wife have too many responsibilities... Naturally issues with children will arise... Planning is everything. Nuclear family is best if both patents have good understanding of their responsibilities and situations and the reality check.

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  11. Kamila NazarJune 14, 2014

    Nuclear famly seems 2 b gd mre dan joint....domination shld b dere in joint....all d v hav 2 compramise in all ways for everybdy....espcly they didnt allow /not possible 2 tak decision regarding childrns.....also watever v do for deir's sake in joint fmly they il nt get satisfy....evn in nuclear many prbs r there....bt dis may b tempory stress....it il put off aft sum tim .....really its true green grass far away n here dessert....bt v were dere on green grass its slwly make bitter n lif lng headache....so v hav 2found d way here itslf by living happily....

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  12. Hemalatha Shravan PaiJune 14, 2014

    Grass is always greener on d other side. Both types have benefits n challenges.

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  13. Minal B ShahJune 14, 2014

    I lived with my in laws when i had my first child. Then we shifted to a different city due to my husband's job. I delivered a son last year. But believe me.. Life is difficult living alone and coping with kids. I never faced a issue with my daughter abd her raising but am having a tough time with my son!! True..every household and family has saas bahu differences..but the secret is to ignore it and get over it..after all she managed our hubbies till we came..y not trust them further. And whenever my in laws visit me..for me its a blessing.. I infact get much relaxed time with them helping me out..but..again opinions differ person to person and situations.

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  14. Shwetha LullaJune 14, 2014

    Wid nuclear family..the child has 2 pillars 2 fall back on..n wid joint family 4 pillars n is secured...

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  15. Anuradha ShashikiranJune 14, 2014

    Nuclear family without in-laws ....oh absolutely unimaginable.....they're of great help....love being in a Joint family...

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  16. Both have it's own advantages and disadvantages , it's about how people , individuals cope and manage the show I guess ... Both types of families have their pros and cons

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  17. Pooja KotianJune 14, 2014

    No grass is not greener on the othr side.
    Pls stick to nuclear family.

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  18. Reshma SanyalJune 14, 2014

    It can't be black and white, both systems have their pro-s and cons. Raising children i think is far less stressful in a joint family, because there are so many people to look after the child and entertain and soothe him or her. At the same time, the mother sometimes can feel sidelined or singled out because everyone has a say about the kid and the mother can feel ignored. I guess the only thing we can do is regardless of whatever situation you find yourself in, just give it your best and hope for things to work out the way you want them to :P

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  19. This is a debate which will never cease in the Indian context.
    My experience says the mother acts as a single parent in everything she does in a nuclear family whereas she is singled out and judged in everything she does in a joint family. In a joint family, everybody has the right to be opinionated by the virtue of their age but the bahu and the mother will be condemned for her opinions coz they will be often opposite to the ideas of the rest.

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  20. Vidhya ThakkarJune 14, 2014

    Patience n finding ways to calm down is important.In a joint family overall work load increases and little issues like what to cook becomes irritating after a point.Not necessarily all inlaws will pitch in for child care.Often we may not like their way of caring so level of irritation increases.Being calm whatever be the situation is the important thing.Ultimately its our kids n we must decide what we want to give them to treasure and remember lifelong.

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  21. Rammya GayakwadJune 14, 2014

    In a joint family agree u get a lot of support n help which is in indeed great n lucky r da ppl who ve a nice family around .. In a nuclear family everythin is tough but makes u a lot more independent as u make ur decisions n ders more privacy ..I am bringin up my daughter single handed n i feel proud to do it widout any1s help.. Its jus my way of thinkin ..My mil has been a mother n njoyed every bit of it now since m a mother I wana njoy n xperience every sec wid my littl One as she's wid my all da time ��It again depends on individuals, family n da situations everythin however has adv n disadv..as long as mothers r happy n peaceful bringin up deir kids..

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  22. Anshu SachdevJune 14, 2014

    I feel all the above sometimes...

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  23. i agree ,,,in nuclear upbringin one tends to loose temper,feel low,..etc etc

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  24. Niti BhatiaJune 15, 2014

    Mine is a nuclear family.....no stress, no spanking, no shouting. I can raise my daughter the way I want....i am the boss though I take help online from other mommies and internet for various reasons.....if u hv a child...u have to stay calm and patient.....

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  25. Deepika RaghunathenJune 15, 2014

    Nuclear families are way better because the child is less pampered and more disciplined!

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  26. Cfa Tanu MathurJune 15, 2014

    losing temper has got nothing to do with the type of family. It all depends on the satisfaction of psychological and emotional needs.

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  27. Alivia BiswasJune 15, 2014

    Grass is as green on either side... I have grown up in joint family but cannot say had less spanking... I have seen friends with nuclear family upbringing more spoiled of attention and support...

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