13/02/2014

It's Between You, Me & Valentine : Are Love Celebrations Dead ?

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This vermilion case is called "Sindoora".  Supposed to be very sacred
for married women. 
Is Valentine day celebration dead for us ?

Or like other important days this poor man's day of love is also going to get shifted on weekend like birthdays and anniversary and wait for its turn for tom tomming.

Why was it alive in first place. Because you are so far from your valentine in a long distance relationship that you wanted to buy the world for him or her.

Or is it dead now as you are just averse to the whole concept of celebrating love only on this one single day. Personally, i have always supported the cause of Valentine Day celebration that too with much flair. I believe such days are important for those people who keep mum on yearly basis to tell you what you means to them. For heaven's sake why they don't mind to shed their all practical, reticent, mature image only to be labelled as ammateur, juvenile like their other half only for a day.

But one theory i couldn't ever successfully defend and win over is, how often do we tell our parents how much they mean to us and how much we love them. My answer is that love is different. He will say no, that is same. You are feeling like this because you haven't and can never imagine your life without them. They are so intrinsic to you and your existence. By the same logic when somebody becomes your universe - they are always there no matter what, you chose to dream with them, stay put, grow old  so where is the need to tell them or ask them "would you be my valentine" and celebrate for what you are together in the first place amore mio.

Why we need to constantly be on toes for winning something or feigning to win you again which is already mine, the basis of my life, the very foundation on which i am building block by block our family. The second hypothesis which he always gives is there are stages of love. You qualify one and step into other its indicators and milestones change. This i have started to believe and after watching Dedh Ishqiya it can qualify from a mere hypothesis to a proven theory. 

Which stage of love we are in and where is it written as you graduate towards higher degree you can't celebrate sacrifices of St. Valentine? As per Khalu Jaan, saat mukaam hote hain ishq mein...

Where are we in a decade? 

Such conversations seems philosophy to me even though the tiny mature part of me have started to nod in yes off late, though publicly i chose to deny to maintain happy go lucky image. If you can't express love its as good as not having it. Its like my chicken 65. I love it, go for it and have it, happy me. Ofcourse you can't compare it inch by inch to love but something of that sort. I convince myself more with the second theory which says yes we have grown up so we have become like this. There is a list of the first things that i have done with him. The most shocking one was starting to relish the kurbaani of kukkads in all forms with bones, without, grilled, fried, minced, baked, red sauced, sizzling. Born veggie, die non-vegetarian is one way to achieve nirvana being alive. Kukkads graduated to fish, lamb, mutton, prawns, crab, some weird meat in Nairobi (it was crocodile), my bbf SM you please don't make yuckky pukey faces, i am going to shut up now. 

Baat chal nikali hai to, when was the last time recently, when we did something for the first time? Will looking out for best discount deal at amazon qualify ? Oh you stupid, for diapers not for browsing gifts for him or gifts for her. No, it smells of patheticism. 

The real locha lies in the ever achieving quest of trying to make everything perfect. And its not him with whom i am disappointed, he has always been like this sober. Its me who is changing as year on year something new is coming on my shoulders that i have started to forget who i was. The small town girl, child like, fresher, speak your mind, impulsive, confident, decisive, dynamic, first draft, no second thoughts, say it on your face, day dreamer, untamed speedy bike, poor dressing sense, bad curly hair, free flowing, flats/ sneakers. raw.

Over the years what have i become, a cosmo city, cribbing adult, seasoned professional, sophisticated, diplomatic, mature, domesticated, sceptical, systematic, final copy ready for publication to be liked, trapped in a tin cabin honking car, structured, smartly dressed, high heels, neatly done up blow dried conditioned hair and most importantly boring by my own standards as compared to what i was before. Why becoming mature is equated to being silent or bowing down to lose certain degree of madness and insanity. 

In case you find me grazing some me space outside my home in by previous avatar don't raise your brows to tag me with 'she needs grooming'. All i am attempting deliberately is to let lose somethings, stop being my own look alike  and celebrating or rather commemorating reminiscence of my own self. 

How liberating it was before. HOHO bike rides. Hop On Hop Off. Simple. Haven't we complicated our lives with accumulating things we think we should have, car is one of them. Its the first thing you should kill if given a chance. Bike rides were so spontaneous fresh and fun with we creating non sense for car owners. Now if i see a couple speeding against our car to take over i feel like my older self winning and mocking my this boring framed version. 

I hate cars all sorts shape, size, color, cc engines. Driving them makes you forget the simple pleasures of life like stopping by a road side to have a fresh cut fruit chat or cheena ke safed rasgulle or buy a watermelon or gulp down some phuchkas from a new tapari or stop by for a divine priceless kulladwali chai. Because he won't pull over, where is the place to park? I often tell him, we should celebrate our bike an year or two older than us - a lame bike Bajaj Caliber nothing chivalrous or oh so sexy about it but a sturdy one stood by us in mid night, early morning, seista time, its raining, rescuing us from barking dogs, dropping at stations, pick up from bus stand, anytime dating loving bike. Comparable to the scooter ride of Surinder Sahni, Suri Saab - Punjab power lighting up your lives ji, thank you for calling. 

Coming back to Suri Saab, it looks like his current overseas project deadline is going to eat our valentine day cake too. Have you heard that story, Me and Happy was sitting on the tree spending good time. Years later, time fell down and now me and happy are staring each other.  They both want old time to come back again. Me is saying lets just sit here and wait it will come. Happy is saying no to move on is the reality. Change is the only constant, else everything else is mortal. Me is adamant that their love is immortal. Happy is not giving up and arguing, that's why i am saying we must go on and on. 

Both are touching base with their chemistry lessons. How earlier they both were just experimenting in theory how would they look or function together. Now they are handling the practical, where the experimenting conditions are not as controlled as they presumed. There have been and there will be times where one of the reactants or circumstances entropy can be so high that without giving any activation energy they by default performs an exothermic reaction. Looking at the seriousness of condition, Time took some mins out from his busy schedule to tell Me and Happy, let Happy and Me be all alone for some time,  they will stabilize to reach the equilibrium, redistributing the engeries. And when they will do that, they will find them on a stage of love  somewhere between mohabbat and aqeedat

On this valentine day, Me is telling Happy, your name is synonymous to me and my happiness. And together we will see Time - kya balaa hai. 
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PS: Chocolates are the best gift science has given to humanity may be only after diapers.

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