We Live Here

Nice Road as seen from the bridge over Kanakpura Road connecting Sri Kumaran School. Going up this road, you will reach Electronic city, Bannerghatta, Hosur Road. Down you reach Mysore Road. Nice road is an acronym for Nandi Infrastructure Corridor Enterprise. One of our guest asked us recently, "Why you call it NICE road? Their toll tax is so high" !

In the name of blogging this Diwali i got a bumper gift, a Canon Digital EOS 1200D. A big thank you goes to my bhai, SC (nick name Shinde). If you are reading this, please note - your Didi almost gone mad and will remain so after photography atleast for some time. Above status message i posted on my FB account out of sheer happiness. Little did i know i will be in so much of awe to use my new prized possession DSLR that i won't use it even once. When I sent Snv's birthday pictures clicked with our old pocket canon, my younger sister PC (Jaengo) didn't miss a chance to tell Shinde...

"What a waste selection it was to gift a DSLR to Didi." 

Hunnhhh ! 


What's Your Parenting Style ?

Published in ParentEdge Magazine, click here to read.

Last weekend I happen to attend a session on "Effective Parenting" by Dr Brunda Amrutraj - Clinical Psychologist, organized by Infosys for their employees and spouse. By all means, a productive employee needs to have a peaceful balanced personal life too, specially a full time working mother.

Initially, I was reluctant to attend this session as my needs are 'not special' after all and as a women I ought to know how to raise a child, atleast this is what society expects at the outset. But as we entered the auditorium seeing its full capacity I felt a little better as a women and far better as a  parent. Or was it an instant empathy drawn after seeing fellow victims of parenthood marred by nuclear family structure with aspiration to balance kids on the scale of career. 

Image Courtesy: www.parentfurther.com 
The ice-breaking question was inviting enough to break the silence of audience. "Why is it that parenting is really a big deal, now a days ? There are blogs, classes, counselling sessions, depression, stress all associated with parenting? Isin't the most ancient nurturing bond that comes to us instinctively"?  All of us said all sort of things, which were complementing to an extent but "overload" of information was zeored on as the main culprit adding stress in parenting. The overload of information and the constant quest of it to fix the problem, without actually going in depth of it.

Parenting is an art and skill.


Nostalgia of Small Towns & Real People

My Dadi ji (we used to call her Amma) and dada ji (we used to call him Pitaji). If you know me enough, I mean close enough, you will find a similarity in my face and his face. Amma was truly Amma, she will beat us with her stick and share stories at bedtime. And Pitaji, I used to take pride for he is Commissioner and would go with him for public meetings, inaugurations.
He would have really adored my association with NGO sector, I was in class VIII. But the biggest guilt of my life is not
being able to meet my Amma in her last days. I had joined my first job in Hyderabad (2005) in a big Canadian funding agency and my induction was going on that time.  I quit that job within 3 months to go closer home.

What is it in our small towns that gives us immense pleasure and satisfaction in return ?

It is or convenient relationship with them. We keep going back to our 'desi' roots whenever we are in fix, confusion, pain, despair or utter chaos and yet settle of anonymity of a big metro city. To resume the journey of a 'small fish' in a big-big very big dirty pound, where the small town fish has to survive to become 'someone'.

And what is the price of becoming someone - emotions ! The constant chase of a goal often unknow turns into our greatest dilemma, The dilemma of our belongingness. We cut ties of festival celebrations, our absence in weddings become a norm, high school friends are lost in transition as we spread our wings in the sky.


Women and Shopping - Who Controls Whom ?


Did I tell you how I had planned to devour my first pay check after I resumed full time work from Aug?

My initial plan was to pledge my three months salary to visit either Morocco or Spain. But then I realized my will power is not as strong as I think it is. May be my savings would be just enough to finance the tickets but what about the lodging and trying local delicacies and shopping.

Hey, that’s when I rely on my equity investor, Sinha Ji, in good and bad times.

Somehow, my Libran’s balanced approach goes out of the window and take an auto ride when i see my card lazing around in my wallet and do no good for me materialistically. And oh so naturally I get succumbed to the lure of shopping to cherish my regained financial independence.

When you work for some 9 long years and then you take a break, you almost feel next to being an unqualified struggling bachelor with no influence on anything whatsoever, abla naari ekdum bechari.


Understanding Children with Autism

Image Courtesy : www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk

Published in ParentEdge Magazine, click here to read.
I happened to meet my old friend last week who was just recovering from an accident. Due to the injury in her leg, she had gone through a surgery and got it fixed with help of steel rods. Now, she can’t walk properly, and the limping is quite visible. She is the mother of an autistic son, 14 years. After meeting her, I realised that I did not have much awareness about Autism despite working in the area of disability. For greater awareness and sensitization, I am sharing some useful information for parents.

What is Autism? 

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), aka Autism, is a syndrome characterized by impairment in social interaction (withdrawal, failure to engage in interaction with peers or adults), delays in both verbal and nonverbal communication skills, deficits in cognitive skills, and impairment in the ability to engage in make-believe play. Individuals may engage in repetitive activities or a limited repertoire of activities. It develops from 0 to 3 years age group due to genetic chromosomal disorder.

There are generally two types of autistic children: high functioning and low functioning.

High functioning autistic children are over achievers, hyperactive and perform well at studies and work. However, the low functioning autistic children need constant care, supervision and life-long attention even to perform basic daily living skills (DLS). They generally live at home with their parents or in residential facilities where their needs can be constantly addressed.


Life is Sorted or Assorted ?

When you can't change someone you love, like my
old sofa, try changing other unimportant things !
Read related post, Har Ghar Kuch Kehta Hai .

Ha. Life, sometimes it looks so sorted, calm, easy to the extent of touching boredom of daily schedules that you want to escape from it. You want to do the unthinkable, undoable, adventure to feel accomplished. To tell yourself you have done it when you grow old. 

On the flip side, it looks like the most randomly assorted box of chocolates of all taste, size and colour. Where you constantly search for two similar pieces to convince yourself of its familiarity and confide in it. But no. Its not. Its completely new taste, experience for you and before you decide upon your response you react out of reflex. You get tired of the variation this assorted box has to offer every time and start yearning for a regular stable life. 

Means, as a human being we are not satisfied with what we have. I am not, i will not be and if i do i would rather do tata bye to this world and socialize in hell or heaven. Despite having a particular nature as a person, a personality, individuality we do sometimes want to step up or down to do different things. Things we think we want to do like like i do want to own a bike and go for a long ride all alone. I feel that will make me happy. This is regardless of the fact that i haven't graduated beyond a scooty after class XII. Two wheeler went on to become three wheeler, my fav auto rickshaw ride and not even tried learning driving.


Raaga Arts and Grameena Angadi - Ethnic Home Decor Shopping Destination in Jaya Nagar

Simple decor items like a lantern with a diya in it add a sparkle in your house.

Every house waits to get dressed up on the occasion of Diwali. No matter what is the theme of your home decor, Indian handicrafts, metal souvenirs, painting, terracotta artefacts, hanging lamps, lanterns statues always find a place to adore our living room space or rejuvenate balcony. 

Since, I stay in South Bangalore (outskirts) going to Commercial Street or MG Road is a bit too tiring and time consuming. In search of a good place to shop for festivals, last week, I got to visit two Indian Ethnic Handicraft stores. One is called Raaga Arts and the other is Grameena Angadi, both are in straight line in Jayanagar 4th T Block. 

For me it was a paradise for shopping for seasonal festival as well as for decor pieces to keep for lifetime. From Raaga Arts (Tamil Nadu based), if you move towards the right side of the store, half a mile away there is another store called Grameena Angadi (Kerala based), where you can find traditional silver, golden, earthen pots, jute lamp shades, handwoven sarees, cotton dress material and a variety of natural green products (edibles, organic food etc.) along with home decor items. 

Raaga Arts 
10, 11th main road, 38th B Cross,
Opposite-Shalini Grounds,
Near-Raghavendra Temple,
Jayanagar 4th T Block, Bengaluru, Karnataka 560041

Grameena Angadi
8, 11th Main Road, 39th A Cross,
Opposite-Shalini Grounds,
Near-Raghavendra Temple,
Jayanagar 4th T Block, Bengaluru, Karnataka 560041

Sharing some of the recent pictures and items for sale on Diwali.


I Loved Your Surprise :)

I am going to dive in it soon!
Yipee. Thanks Chets.
I am celebrating friendship day today.


Of all the readers who snooped right into my previous post and yet carefully ignored my birthday i was thinking of buying it from traffic signal. 


I am poor when it comes to stocking original books and otherwise too (paying tips to servers). Because if you care to see, i love my planet and the more original book means more trees are cut to produce best quality pulp. At the same time, i am not comfortable in reading e-books. I need to have it in my hand with a bookmark and tea cup mark, eventually. 

For me content matters, not the cover or make-up. 

I am remembering the first time i had met her in college. The bubbly effervescent girl from another small town didn't take much time to connect with her Brij counter part.

We were a lot same and a lot different that time. And now, I am still the same and CS has changed a lot. If i say 360 degree, it wouldn't be enough the amount of transformation or make over that i have seen in her. But I was assured she is still the same deep inside and this kind gesture of her proved it again.


My Interview at Smart Indian Women

In the month of September, our blog was featured on the "Smart Indian Women" online community. Sharing with you all, my first ever interview.

Posted on 


Image Courtesy: http://www.pinterest.com/
Thanks for taking the time to chat with SIW. Tell us a little bit about yourself and your blog. 

Deaf Mamma : I have had a pretty much middle class upbringing. Which means, I have been brought up to become self dependent yet not loose touch with our values, our tradition. And clearly, this is what my blog is all about – stories of uniterrupted middle class family. Its a personal lifestyle blog where i largely write about my relationships, work, family and everything in between.

If you read it, i would be like talking to me in person straight from heart. I have no fear of being judged by readers and that’s what makes my blog so unique. Real.

I am an alumni of Indian Institute of Health Management and Research with specialization in Public Health. I have been working in not-for-profit/corporate sector for close to 10 years to bring social change.

What makes your blog so unique and why should people read it?

Deaf Mamma : Here, you can read about the forgotten quintessential pleasures which a middle class Indian from small town is addicted to and runs the marathon all his life for…

For example, managing relationships with spouse, mother-in-law, running household chores, raising kids, bringing down expenses, thinking ways of saving, celebrating festivals, eyeing a raise in office, daring to do modern thing but fearing to leave values and tradition, want to come in limelight but equally fear what “society” will say – all of it with a dash of humor or sarcasm.

Reading it will be like overhearing a gossip session, sometimes or reading a heartfelt plea or confession.


It is Hard To Be a Woman

Talented women are intimidating. More when they seemed to have acquired control over their lives specially their family or personal life which supposedly is the price society wants them to pay for being successful. 


Because that's one "classic" accusation, most people use, to bring them down. To accuse them for "probably" or "presumably" neglecting their families to climb up the ladder of success. Or the next thing is "character assassination", which simply means, she may have talent of some "other" kind !

It starts from dissection of their current status of relationship. So. Is she single ?  Affair (s) ? Married ? Separated ?Boozing ? Available for drinks on weekends? Not Married, why not. Its her age? Must be over ambitious ! Kids, no, IVF going on / marriange on the rocks ? Second marriage ?


Carrie Bradshaw, Come Back Again with Your Gang of Girls !

It is said it takes a life time to know who you are ?

The classic Paris episode.
I have just officially entered panic.

There it was Self Hell Aisle !

Starting Over, Yet Again !

Well, you look very something.
I am very something.

Do I judge,
We all do. That's our hobby.

Sexy sheik, just like you said.

No, but he's gay and bitchy.
My target audience.

Judgey Wudgey was a bear.

Open minded, good
Judgmental, bad.

Lonely Women, No Men

I' m fine, Now.

Reservations for One.

Whoever invented glaze is a genius. See, that is the worth for being fat.


Ifs and Butts of Western Wear

"You speak Parada" ? Quote from
Confessions of a Shopaholic.

You walk in the mall in your newly picked seasonal yellow chiffon top, golds studs, tightly braided french plait nude gladiators and matching satchel bag. 

Did i miss something ?

Oh! paired with black bell bottom trousers. 

Why I this sudden bent for fashion ? 

As a dedication to my younger sister, PC, who thinks my fashion quotient is lost in transition of becoming mother. And she didn't read my blog, since its tag line says " stories of middle class family". 

She has objection with the word 'middle class'. How on earth two people are born and brought up in same family and yet they have different class. Besides, the point is dressing up to work or otherwise do make you feel good about yourself. Your body feel liberated out of those t-shirts and jeans. 

One fine day, with such up fashion tip to toe oozing with oomph factor, feeling beautiful inside, deaf mamma went to a nearest mall for lunch. Twice in a week I do that. It keeps my weight in check and also satiate my window shopping fits. And off late, such no-touching-only-seeing walks have quite helped me in saving money and loosing weight.  

Quote from Confessions of a Shopaholic.
The girl with green scarf.

Why, simply because sale is over a few weeks back and i will keep doing window shopping until next six months to derive motivation on physical, emotional and financial front. I don't understand why men can't see this from an analytic's point of view. Why they just shrink the whole purpose of buying things and put them to use.


Laws of Physics & Life - Teacher's Day Memoir

With teacher's day on September 5th, I am writing this post and remembering some physics lessons from DPS and our very favourite S.K.Singh Sir. He was probably the most calm person i have ever seen in my life with an elephant like royal well rounded gait. 

I wasn't very bright in Physics but i do remember a couple of theories not because they are relevant for science but to life as such. 

One of which is Pareto's Law. 

I experience it every single day. 80% of my work is done in 20% of time (6 to 9 am) this involves cooking, sending all the three bright citizens of India to their work/school, managing maid, picking up right colored socks for Sinha ji, choosing which junk jewellery will go with my outfit and above all packing food my toddler ( only 5 little packets each one having different edible), dry waste segregation, reading Jug Suraiya, FM, checking mails, monitoring two picky eaters if they have finished their breakfast or not...ufff. Let me catch some breath. 


So, is theory of relativity. 

Einstein gave the most important lesson for life with this theory. Sorry, Singh Sir, i might have not understood E = MC2 what does it mean but now i can give a wholesome lecture on that. And my starting punch line would be, "What may be a basic necessity for you is already a far fetched luxury for someone else and vice versa". See. Theory of relativity hence proved. This reminds me E=MC2 invest in education projects as part of corporate social responsibility. Wondering it would fetch me more energy and continue momentum at higher speed. 

Can't get more apt quotation than this one
for my teachers and what their student
has bloomed or doomed into. 


You've Got Mail

My recipe for a solitary lazy lounging Sunday is simple plus one technical glitch. 

Weekend. Check.
Internet off. Check.
Chew Sunday Times. Check.
High calorie brunch. Check.

Access to T. V. ---- Waiting !

Yes, day by day its becoming difficult to share the most prized possession of our house - our T.V. Any ways the power struggle with Sinha Ji had had the status of impeding case lying at the bottom in High Court, one more member has added to my woes. Now my tv rights are not only violated but ripped off from my home maker's designation. Oh yes, Snv have got this new love developed for National Geographic channel. The love gets deeper when the food is at stake.

For every morsel she wants to have a look at the panther, leopard, tiger, lion or the entire animal kingdom. This reminds me of her Nana Ji. My father too love watching it specially over a meal and quite like an expert forecast or pass on a prediction as to when the lion is going to jump high to catch his prey with ample use of hindi phrases "ये  लपका / ये मारा पंजा ". I used to find it funny then and hereditary now. The tv remote oscillates between wildlife flora and fauna to cricket to business news with no place for my angrezi pictures :(

However, i did get lucky today and managed to watch my all time favourite one. Yes, like a true tigress i waited for the other big tv-i-vores in my house to sleep and make a move in mid night to take full control of remote and indulge in Hollywood romcoms with lemon tea and popcorns.

There is something incredibly attractive and magnetic about the pair of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.


Let Your Child Volunteer

"If you buy things you don't need, soon you will have to
sell things you need. " 

Published in ParentEdge Magazine, click here to read

Every weekend on a trip to grocery stores starting with names with Mega, Hyper, Metro or Big market of the city, I couldn't help but observe one thing consistently at the billing counter. A child dragging a set of parents, howling incessantly or throwing fits in anger on the floor or unwilling to let go off that toy s/he picked up from somewhere.

Poor parents shying away the public spot of shame wants to escape immediately. However, a couple of pursed lips or raised eyebrows keep staring parents. So they bow down by loading ‘picked up unwanted thing’ in the cart or get away with a quick fix bribery of chocolate bar or soft toy, strategically placed on purpose at exit points - peace at both ends.

I am sure you too would witness it on your next visit. However, this doesn't address the real issue of having an unending desire of urban children to collect things because their parents can afford it without ever asking “do I need this” or having a look at the price tag. With more double income families, higher disposable income, peer pressure at school the difference between ‘need’ and ‘want’ is diminishing.


कृष्णा जन्माष्टमी की झलकियाँ /Glimpse of Krishana Janamashatami at ISKCON 2014

मेरे शब्द जाल - राहुल पाण्डेय जी का ब्लॉग है , जो की हिंदी प्रेमी पाठकों में काफी  लोकप्रिय है।  आपको समय मिले जरूर पढियेगा। मेरी पसंदीदा  रचनाये वैसे तो बहुत हैं, लेकिन सबसे लुभावनी अब तक लगी है वो है "
"झिंगुरी मिस्त्री - मेरे गाँव के महारथी" . पढियेगा तो बताइयेगा, कैसा लगा झिंगुरी मिस्त्री से भेंट कर के

नीचे लिखी पंक्तियाँ भी शब्द जाल से ही हैं, कृष्णा जन्माष्टमी के उपलक्ष्य में - 

हर्ष, उल्लास, फैला चहुँ ओर,
देखो-देखो आया माखन चोर।

नटखट चाल, दधि, मुख पर सोभित,
श्याम रंग, सर पर पंख मोर।

प्रेमी, सखा, इष्ट, सारथि, रूप कई
जैसे चाहो पूजो तुम, पाप कटेंगे घोर।

अभी इससे आगे लिखना संभव नहीं हो पा रहा है, भाव नहीं आ पा रहे हैं। प्रभु की जब इच्छा होगी तब इसे पुनः पूरा करने का प्रयास करूँगा। जय श्रीकृष्ण।


कृष्णा की नगरी से होने के नाते ऊपर लिखी कविता पूरा करने का भार हम उठाने को तैयार हैं :) लीजिये प्रस्तुत हैं कुछ पंक्तियाँ ; 

साँझ होए सो आये धेनु चरइया,  
जाकी मैया रूठे तो बजाये मुरलिया 


Inauguration of Livelihood Resource Center - Samarthanam, CISCO & Wadhwani Foundation

Image Courtesy _ Nova Foundation

Today, we marked another milestone in Samarthanam's journey of 17 years by inaugurating Livelihood Resource Centre (LRC). This project is in partnership with CISCO and Wadhwani Foundation (under its OND - Opportunity Network for Disabled initiative). 

This LRC is unique, since it's located at our HSR Layout premises, which is a barrier free universal design building with need specific architectural changes allowing safe mobility of PWDs, as mentioned in UNCRPD. 


15th August, 2014

Independence of thoughts is real independence. The deed to respect and nurture differences free from favoritism of particular "caste", "native place" , "religion", "gender" or "pedigree".

Vande Maatram !

Deaf Mamma at the Gym - Part 2

But one fine day.

This hot bod female in her body hugging t-shirt, shorts and primary school girl like waist came in.

I could hear the announcement, self proclaimed gym instructor is thrown from her ivory tower of  fitness and the obese protégés can go and join new master trainer. And in no time, I-thought-so loyal uncle and aunty was checking the new chick for tips - muted but eyes rooted, of course. Yes, in South India, you do whatever but you have to meditate - means - keep your mouth shut all the time. Be it gym, lift, department store, changing room, ladies spa, steam room, swimming pool, bhajan, keertan. 

Empty vessels are not allowed to make sound and filled ones don't bother of what you think of them or they practice yoga.

Saans andar kheenchiye, bahar chodiye. Heheh


Deaf Mamma at the Gym - Part 1

Theory of relativity and gyming goes hand in hand.


Very simple.

The concept of being fat or unfit or overweight is relative to with whom you are spotted roaming thinking you are a Cinderella of some sort. You idiot. You are the chiggi viggi jelly bean talk of the town with that beer belly and equally bloated nose and in women's case...

Let's just forget BMI for a minute.

If you are  royal Kg 80 and your hubby is his highness at Kg 95, you still make a good pair. Now you get it. From a pack of friends or relatives are you able to pick the ones who make you feel fit? Doesn't matter, if you have failed successively to find friends and then coax them to increase their girth. By god's disgrace, all the people having super high metabolism are in my close circle. So, any day they still look like school girls and yet boast of having mother of two kids.

There, fb status goes - feeling duped or feeling fat or feeling meh ! 
However, Gym is one such beautifully dynamic place in the world where the sum total, the cumulative weight of members fluctuate on the leads of sensex. True.


Note from Working Mother - I am Choosing Faith Over Fear

Only one of the ducklings has to board on my back - Is it Faith or Fear ? 
If you ask me, what motherhood has taught me? I will say, patience and patience. I think, it can be counted as a strength, provided i learn it properly to use at my disposal killing anxieties, uncertainties. 

On the other hand, it has made me vulnerable. I count it as a weakness as well as threat. Its as much internal as external. Internal for the fears, residing in my subconscious. External, for the factors which are out of my control. I am no God to control each variable and its intensity. I am a human being. All our lives, we learn to navigate through called and uncalled for situations in our life - to survive. In the process, we know ourselves, know others, face success, failure, break down, become resilient, happy, unhappy, blank. 

All of it.


Unlock Pockets of Dream : Come take Education Key

# This post is an account of my first field visit to Samarthanam's school and training center

This morning ride to office was good with radio giving full kick on Sallu bhai's songs. Had some site visits planned for the day.

Stop # 1: We started with TechVision - a facility supported by Microsoft and Philips and many other corporate to train persons with visual impairment in ICT via JAWS (Jobs Access With Speech). Met Chandrakant who heads the TechVision Centre, Sunil - who is a real troubleshooter when it comes to my mailbox configuration and Shalini, she was translating a Kannada book to speech.

Last year, we have trained 400 young adult with disability or under privileged background through TechVision (computer training center)


Hierarchy of Needs Understood

There are some moments in life when you question your very basic "being" - the soul of who you are. One such incident occurred last month. 

Before that, please wish me luck for my second full time innings, where i will be working as Manager - Corporate Fundraising for Samarthanam Trust for Disabled. We work for empowerment of persons with disability. There i continue my stride in the field of disability again, after Sightsavers.

Since Jan, 2014 - i had given 6 interviews even when i wasn't mentally prepared to join or i knew the office is way too far from my abode and wouldn't be able manage a to and fro commute of kms 30 or more. It was like a mommy's day out kind of sport or audition - hehe - where i will go to get selected and later deny the offer. It made me feel empowered, in some sense, that, see i am still worth it despite being on a sabbatical from mid of 2013. So, here i reject you giving a piece of my mind and time and choose to enjoy rather learn nuances of parenting - grilled - tandoorified .


Dog Walker

My fav comic actor - Love you Zach
While i am struggling hard at home to potty train my toddler, its amusing how dogs do that. No, i am not drawing comparisons here. 

Rather, i am thinking about the master who have come out to walk the dog. Or its the dog taking master on walk. In our complex, there is a deposit of Rs 25k if you are rich enough to keep a dog and in case they do some damage. In one of our neighbouring flat someone has got this high pedigree canine who barks a lot. It irritates me, yes, i hate pets. But can't do much. 


Bean Bag Parenting and Ranting : Part 3

This is my state. I am bowled down by the googly of raising a child.
There is never a moment when I feel I am "man of the match". Never.
Will I be ever?
Read Sequel Posts:

I am learning each day or probably not learning enough, each day. And obviously, I need lots and lots, lots and lots of patience to sail through this unfathomable sea of parenting.

Won't just say motherhood.

It looks like I am a failure, every single time when my lil one don't reciprocate what I am trying to teach her. Be it anything, anything. She exactly goes in the wrong direction and do the "please-do-not-touch-it" thing with even more sheer vengeance.


Go Find a Fish, You Cynical

If something goes smooth, fast, all well types, just as I wanted or idolized in my head before the start or perceived to be true - I start looking for a hidden fish, somewhere, something. I fail to accept its realization until it actually happens.

Too good to believe or just too perfect makes me uneasy or rather my mind starts poking my heart - "Hey, Dude ! listen I can smell the fish." And that pumping thumping heart says "Naah, anyways, I am a vegan. Though, I only drink blood"

Am I becoming cynical ? Can we mark it as my early signs of attaining maturity. Ladaki tej ho rahi hai, bhai !
Is it?

Or becoming a fallibilist brings more cheer and less of proving your point to XYZ.

Excuse me, my cheese garlic breads are ready. Don't know about fish but this cheesy gourmet is ready to get licked. Will continue next time.

PS : The term Cynical, originally derives from the ancient Greek philosophers, the Cynics, who rejected all conventions, whether of religion, manners, housing, dress, or decency, instead advocating the pursuit of virtue in accordance with a simple and idealistic way of life. Does it ring a bell now ?


Help Your Child Identify Sexual Abuse

Published in ParentEdge Magazine, click here to read.

The tag of disability on a child or a woman who has undergone a sexual abuse as a reason to become soft target, give me chills down the spine. But it happens almost all the time. Why ? I am agitated to the core to rant about this issue due to the recent defamation of the six year old child, in the name of "special needs" to justify rape in the high end mainstream school premises.
In other words, the perpetrators of crime along with school endorse the view, that, a child with special needs is at much higher risk of such crimes. So, since their vulnerability is already high, the onus of misconduct lies more on the "mental status" of the child herself than the criminal.
I just fail to comprehend the illogic behind such stained notion?
Why is it that a sexual assault on a child with disability or having special needs is seen as a lesser crime? Special needs or none, child sexual abuse in itself is a heinous crime. As a society, community, parent, school, teacher its our duty to safeguard a child despite their ability to communicate. A neglected or unnoticed case of child sexual abuse irrespective of his or her special needs, is putting a child at a greater risk of similar incidences in future and empowering the paedophile.

To avoid this, teach your child with an acronym HELPING. Tell them the signs where they need to ask for help and share with parents.
HELPING things, which we can do to safeguard safety of  our children are:
H - Hug and Hoot : Teach the child that if someone hugs them again and again, they have to hoot or shout at loud voice. They have to come back home and tell mummy or papa.
E - Environment Friendly: In your absence, inform neighbours, security or a trusted friend to take care of kid. Always cross check information about care givers.
L - Love Making Scenes: We don't always control what we are watching on TV and what kids are learning from it. But if the situation is unavoidable, use it as an opportunity to educate them. Like how too much of kissing, putting hands in neck, tummy, thighs are part of bad touch and should be reported.
P - Pledge Patience : Take a pledge with your kids in a fun game to talk and share daily as to what happened at their school and in turn share your routine at office or home. Lend a patient ear to all what they have to say, without the fear of being punished or scolded for sharing mischievous acts. 
I  - In Between Legs/Chest/Bums: Don't wait for such incidents to occur to take a cue and talk about sex education to your kid. Make it a casual activity to teach the child about warning signs of bad touch - in between legs, chest, bums, lips. Make a routine, not a one time "keep your mouth shut" activity.
N - Neutral Response: As a parent we tend to set certain notions in our kids minds, unknowingly. One of them is sex. Please make sure when the child shares any gory details about themselves or someone in their circle, maintain a calm and don't shut the child up.
G - Genitals Name and Privacy: Don't settle toddlers for cute names for private parts. As soon as they start talking, teach them the right terms including undergarments. Take help of their toys to name them and during bath time. Also teach them how no one should remove clothes of their doll, teddy bear and from their own body.

We  can’t always accompany our kids everywhere they go, no matter how much we want to. What we can do is to empower our kids with the right information and instil the confidence in them to come to us with their doubts and fears.

On 23rd of every month, I write on disability theme for Parent Edge Magazine.

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In the Cab with Shri Shri Shri Bon Jovi Ji

Gori hai kalaaiyaan,Tu laade mujhe haari haari chudiyaan...
Apana Banaale Mujhe Baalama, Gori Hai Kalaayiya

Amitabh Bachchan and Jaya Prada, dancing on this song from the movie Aaj Ka Arjun, i distinctly remember. We used have a VCR at home and all the thakeli or super-duper hit movie cassettes used to come home as soon as they are available, to watch in leisure rather an obsessive compulsive disorder. I was just 8-9 years, when classic Aashiqui, Saajan, Dil Hai Ki Maanta Nahi, Maine Pyaar Kiya, Bees Saal Baad (horror) made impressions on my mind or set the romance standards so high. Ironically, sinha ji too watched those movies when he was 10 but sadly couldn't learn much. 

Those days VCR weren't that common, so in first screening we used to watch it,  then with mummy's friends over tea parties, then with our cousins (just a small pack of 10) over weekends since we used to stay in township and then during some family get togethers - where we will brush up our dialogues and songs again . That's how seriously bollywood business was taken in our house. In school, during recess i used to narrate or mimic scenes to my KV friends. Specially the scene from Bees Saal Baad, where Dimple Kapadia ke haath bahut bahut lambe ho jaate (kanun se bhi lambe) to reach Mithun.

Why i am thinking about all this sitting in the cab?

I am going for this interview, which is very important for me to crack. And this cabbie is listening to this song, Gori Hain Kalaaiyaan

Very unusual. 

If its early morning airport pick up, South Indian cabbies stick to Venkateswara Suprabhatam (a morning prayer for Tirupati) or vedic shloka chantings. Or the lazy ones just tune into FM bhajans. Only, when their filmi savaari ask them to play some peppy numbers they switch stations. But looks like this one is truly a bollywood fan, has his own playlist of 90s hindi songs. I am impressed. Tip to banati hai. 

Though, in my head the song i am yearning to listen is "It's My Life" from the universal Lord Shri Shri Shri Bon Jovi Ji. I don't have any of his bhajans or Nirvana's preaching or any song, in my phone. Most of my life turning decisions have been supported by this song. Either before or after. It's always playing in my mind. 

So, either I should tune into FM or listen to the next in his playlist. 

And the next torture is "Mat Roo Mere Dil, Chup Ho Jaa; Jo Hua So Hua" . I feel like hitting my forehead on the window pane or his on the steering. How do i tell him, "Abey tu mujhe discourage kar raha hai yaar" ! Even before the interview. Now, i desperately want to pay a homage to Jovi Ji. Let me search FM Indigo again - only station to play angrezi stuff. 

No no no. No luck.

I swear, interview main kuch jhol hua to HR wala yehi gana gayega mere liye.

After 35 mins.

Better stand tall when they're calling you out 
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down..

Thakk Thakk Thakk...

It's my life 
And it's now or never 
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever 
I just want to live while I'm alive

Yes, yes. Finally. The consistent fidgeting on FM payed its due. 
So, the lesson from this episode is what PC said. 


Twisted Ankle

Hey, good morning.

I have got an injury. I am happy about it and so its here. I have finally got a sports injury, a twisted ankle. Don't know what is it, but i walked upto Roarky happily and told him, see, i have finally got this as a proof to boast how seriously i take my marathons and its by product - a flat tummy. To tell you the truth, i got volini on day 1 itself. But i didn't bother to smell it, as if its a vine.

Today, precisely after six days, i could feel that may be the swelling is gone, but the pain has drifted to calf muscles. Hey, may be my Achilles Tendons are streched or at the verge of grade 1 tearing. Oh, the glam word of sports - Ligament Tear :0 Is it really, that ? Or its just my craving to get associated with such names to talk about. hahah. Please somebody go tell this stupid girl to just shut up. 

On my friend, SB, if i would have told her this, her reaction would be, "Just Shhhhhuttt Upppp Yaar !" Its amazing how with this four word sentence she playfully manages to respond on all the queries of the world - love, pain, anger, anxiety, whatever. Anything you dole on her, she will give this universal remedy only followed by a wild wild laughter. I told her, someday i will die people will tell you calling and you will still say the same thing, damned.

I don't run for my health, i do it to embrace fresh fresh morning each single day. The real tweets of birds not the untimely hollow impulsive pressing of social networking. The chill in the wind, the smell of optimism. Nature has so much in itself to teach us, provided we take out some time to go close. 


नानी ओ नानी, सुनो मेरी कहानी / Nani O Nani, Suno Meri Kahani

When wife's parents visit during SALE SALE SALE, the husband is not happy specifically or generally, whichever ways. All they could see is wrong timing and a big credit card bill. Because now they have to match the standards of their father-in-law, be it managing chores, shopping, traveling, knowledge about finance, share market, current affairs etc etc.

On top of that, a shopaholic wife and mother-in-law !
Inspired from one such extravagant evening to a mall, dedicating this poem on behalf of my daughter to her Naani and plight of a husband, father and son-in-law under pressure.

Sanvi's first hand bag, gifted by her Naani when
she was just 4 months, March 2013.
नानी ओ नानी
सुनो मेरी कहानी

यह जो आपकी है ना, बिटिया पुरानी
खुद को समझे बड़ी सयानी
लो, कल का ही किस्सा सुनती हूँ
फिर मत कहना, ख़ामख़ा मैं गप्पे लड़ाती हूँ

आपने मन की सयानी
सुबह पढ़  रही थी, पेज ३ के इश्तिहार
पढ़ के हो गई एकदम क्रेजी
बिलकुल रेडी जाने को तैयार

फटाफटी बना लिया शौपिंग का प्लान
बोली डैडी जी को कर लीजिये ना आज
वर्क फ्रॉम होम
बाहर जाने का हो रहा है बहुतै मन


Mind Over Heart or Otherwise ?

Buddha in our living room, hopefully drilling some sense in me.
Gifted by D on Grihpravesh. 
The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me. When i read this quote from Howard Roark i mean Ayn Rand, i feel so powerful. So determined to go and get it - my goal. 

But what is my goal ? 

The saintly people on earth says, the ultimate goal of life is to find peace within. To attain objectivity, yet do a thing with 100 percent commitment or subjectivity.

I guess, it means, if you are successful - don't let it sit on your head or swell with pride or arrogance or prohibit exhibition and expression of any of those superlative superiority complex traits.

Similarly, if you fail, accept it calmly; with the fact that, you never wanted it in first place or it wasn't as vital for your survival as you thought and move on or try again. Become objective to the feeling of dejection, depression, losing. Let your mind deal with "You" as a third person without letting the heart interfere. Don't let both meet often, because you will be in a fix when chances of win-win situation for both parties are dim.


Skype Shissskype Interview

First interaction with FB
Just concluded an interview on Skype. Not a big deal. How about having Sanvi sitting in my lap listening to the HR queries.

For me, it was first time. I wish, its the last time too with her and i get hired :P

She fidgeted with some of her luxurious toys, that i always snatch away from her, like coins, pens, diary, bangles etc. And look at the smart girl, she smelled the fish and was looking at my face when i was lovingly doling these things on her. 

I don't know, but, i really want to go get back to job - enough of motherhood. I hate dealing with day to day house maids issue, kab aayi, kab gayi, der se kyun aayi, slab kaun saaf karega, kitni chutti chahiye. I would rather settle for same old traffic buggers, appraisal issues and office politics. Becoming a full time housewife is just so so difficult and a lot more challenging than resuming work after 12 months of break.


Selfie Ready ?

The fashion police had raided The Sinhas wardrobe and gave some ehhh looks. But I told, listen, we don't have a Sarojini by our side to go jump and shop buckets full of trendy export surplus at dirt price. All we have is a commercial street which is far far away from my place and i would rather wait for SALE SALE SALE instead of letting poon poon pee pee traffic robe my peace of mind. 

Sorry, selfie removed.

Technology please spare us.


Today's Question


Bed Tea Lovers

Every morning siting on this dining table, i wish,
when will he break this good habbit ? Others will follow.
Tell me, should a person do a heavy exercise like brushing teeth, before reaching to a simmering cup of bed tea. 

My vote is no. But how do i tell Sinha Ji, to stop acting like a warden.

I tell you, there are so many if and buts that, are hidden beneath a love marriage, one of them is how to prioritize brushing your teeth to shine out pearly white enamel. 

This is beyond common sense for me.


Couldn't Relate to Run Away Brides in Bollywood ?

Last to last weekend, we were discussing how unexciting, our lives have become, after watching Hansee to Phansee.

Fav scene : Soup one by two. One by two main do se jyaada
aata hai ! 
Even if we slightly like the movie, we know a focus group discussion will follow, me, him, Sammy on mute, our thumps up and our beanny (bean bag).

I was lamenting, how i couldn't relate with bollywood romcom flicks these days. I fear, how our love story is shaping towards a conventional Mr and Mrs Sinha types now. None of us have done any adventure in our engagement or wedding, whatsoever.


Let's Save New Age Fathers

Most of the times, its a mother who steals the show in raising a kid, much beyond her biological capacity to reproduce. 

And, a man is solely seen as a breadwinner. With women taking reign of workplace plus running household chores, being a father is much difficult and obsolete. 

Why ?